One random thing-

Free microwave...

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:22:33 GMT

Yeah, so my boyfriend and I were coming out of our Student Union and there was a man about to throw a microwave into a lorry full of trash. My boyfriend's like
"a microwave, we'll have that!"
Man- "yeah, ok"
Me- "does it work?"
Man- "probably"
Me- "cool, thanks!" *takes microwave*

Awesomes :-)

We were on the way to a shop, so we had to take the microwave there, lol. Then our religion and theology lecture, in a theatre with plug sockets! So we had it on a chair next to us and plugged it in to see if it was working, lol. It was- score :-)
We asked around if anyone had anything needed warming up, but they didn't :-( I swear, if we had had microwave popcorn on us in that lecture it would have been a fantastic moment :-D

Then my boyfriend was off to do things so I was left to take it home on the bus, lol. Carrying it to the bus stop was tricky enough, then sorting out my oyster card... I was considering just using the timer to make the "ping" noise and claim it was the oyster card beep :-D
Also the plate and stuff were crashing around inside which made a few people look at me oddly, but I assured them it was ok :-)

Discretion 0

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:52:19 GMT

So my phone is so broken that trying to use it is quite like how I imagine it would be if you were on acid... half the screen is black and the rest has pretty multicoloured lines all over it. That or my phone's mum mated with a kaleidoscope.

Anyhow, becuase of my pitiful situation my brother gave me his old one. Without thinking to delete anything on it. I scroll through his pictures- mostly of our pet dogs- and come across one of my brothers gf topless, oops!

So I decided I should go downstairs and tell him. This is slightly thwarted by my brother actually being downstairs with his girlfriend. Hahaha!
I told him all his files were still on it, and he asked to have a look... I gave him it and he deleted the gf pic and gave it back to me, saying he didnt want anything and I could delete the rest. Lol.

Pure Irony

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 22:11:03 GMT

ouch!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:55:31 GMT

Got my OTHER nipple pierced :)

um...

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 22:49:17 GMT

Today my lunch was rudely interrupted by a one-eyed dog that drank all my drink.

Later in a misguided attempt to find a shortcut home from the supermarket, i got sucked into a riverbed up to my thighs indiana jones-style; managed to escape by grabbing an overhanging branch though!

Random is...

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:31:21 GMT

Phoning your little sister becuase you're slightly drunk and not wanting to write your research essay...
To be told her and her friend have broken a tap and there is a leak of hot water...
And having to explain to them how to isolate and cut off a water supply over the phone, whilst slightly inebriated :-)

Revision mishaps...

Wed, 14 May 2008 20:06:32 GMT

Everyone here works far too hard for first-year exams, no-one is eating or sleeping properly either (no time!!) so everyones slowly going insane.

My incredibly smart friend can answer any technical question you throw at him, but the simple things are starting to confuse him:

"The influenza virus, what does that cause?"
"Rectal carcinoma, where's that?"
"What do you use a sigmoidoscope to look at?" (sigmoid colon)

I advised him to think before he asked any more questions. He went and had a nap. Lol.

My other friend is hilarious on an entirely different level... today she went to rest her head on a table after some reading notes, misjudged, and bashed her face into it!
We couldn't believe it happened, that's how funny it was!

Quote of the day....

Thu, 08 May 2008 03:20:04 GMT

"SHOES equal BIKE!
TROUSERS equal BIKE!

...look, ill draw you a Venn diagram..."

heeheehee

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:52:50 GMT

ive just glued the ring and pinky fingers on my left hand together with superglue.

theyre proper stuck

im amused :-)

this is the first time its lasted more than 5 minutes actually, normally im too sweaty or something i guess.

ok its itching now, ill pull it off.

Notebooks...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:56:59 GMT

Today my dad gave me a notebook that says "i used to be a juice carton"

Weird enough on it's own, but he'd already got me one that day when we were in town... (becuase i left mine at uni!)

Super-laundry!

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:16:13 GMT

So today I was feeling a little low.

To cheer myself up, I found random clothing in the back of my wardrobe and put it on whilst dancing to loud music... ive managed to find a smart pink skirt with paisley patterns, and a tight smart black top, so i look kinda like a funky secretary.
Topped it off with a sequinned eye-mask and headed to the laundrette to get my laundry done :-)

Ragging!

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:05:23 GMT

Raising And Giving, is basically letting students loose with buckets to run around London and collect change for charities the university has decided to support.

I did it for the first time today after lectures and it was really fun :-)

The RAG hit squad came in and interrupted a lecture! The lecturer was talking, and kinda trailed off, and said "can I help you guys?" we all turned to see 4 people in balaclavas who said "oh no sir, we just need to borrow this guy" stroked some guy and dragged him out of the hall... picked someone else to take as well who turned out to be on crutches... the balaclava'd guy took his bag and made him hobble out! Then said to us all "let that be a lesson to you, come out ragging" so we went after that...

We tried to steal wheelchairs from the hospital to push each other around in but got caught :-s
A man said he'd give us money if we did something stupid, so I punched my mate in the face (gently!)
We went into the student library on the other campus and ragged each student working individually in loud whispers :-)
I ragged a man standing with a clipboard for another charity, haha
I ragged the queue in McDonald's
And me and my friend got chased by a dog!

Friday, 30th November 2007

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 12:35:32 GMT

So last week, my friend arranged "make the effort day"- going to lessons as dressed up as you can, becuase sometimes you gotta look good :-D

After that i arranged "just don't fricking bother day"- a day where even getting dressed or washed is optional, no make-up allowed! Becuase sometimes, the extra sleep is worth it :-D

So today is don't fricking bother day, and me and two of my friends went to lectures in our pyjamas :-D It was great, so comfy! Extra time in bed, no rush in the morning :-D and a few weird looks, heehee.
Some guy from my tutorial group was like "i got up at half seven, and you're not even dressed!" lol.
One of my friends couldn't really wear pyjamas becuase he had dissection, so he went to sleep in his clothes specially for us :-D

Some people forgot, but we'll arrange another one!

Proof that i attract weirdos #166779365457652934

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:12:48 GMT

after attempting to use skype for the first time in months, i am being randomly chatted to by a man named andy from manchester, he is 29 and telling me how much he likes being treated like a baby and would like to snuggle in my arms being fed from a baby bottle.

I AM NOT KIDDING.

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 18:23:59 GMT

today at work a man told me the model of his bike was a "thundercat".
Its really hard to sort out insurance when youre trying not to laugh!

***

we got to come up with names for our team at work too:
I came up with:
The Flying Kippers
Happy Elephant Recycling Operation (i work for a company called HERO)
Team Quite Good

i like the last one :-) also suggested was "Hero my arse" (well, its to the point) and:
Hormonal Emotional Retards Oncall :-) i like muchly.

***

I was in a cafe with my mate and yelled at him about something, he told me "now now, we use our indoor voices!"
"I DONT HAVE AN INDOOR VOICE!!"

May 18th, 2007

Fri, 18 May 2007 19:18:39 GMT

first things first, i have given up on men, and instead got four big textbooks out of the library :-) nerdy is better!

...i met some camera-shy ducks today.

i was sitting in the park, id been very still for a while, so these ducks had wandered right near me, from the pond a few hundred metres away. they werent bothered by me at all, i had moved a few times to get things out of my bag etc.
so because they were so close i decided to take their picture. however as soon as i got my camera out, they legged it!

all i have is a picture of them legging it... lol.

ok, so they don't look like they're running that fast, but its the photo. and they ARE ducks.

Wednesday, May 16th 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 22:30:10 GMT

Today in the town centre at lunchtime were people giving out free bleach!!
FREE BLEACH! Just a stall where they were handing out free samples of small bottles of domestos.
I found this so cool and funny I went back 3 times, and ended up with 5 bottles of free bleach :-)

In other news, i bought a saxophone :-)

frogs!

Tue, 15 May 2007 20:08:26 GMT

the weirdest thing happened today. me and my best friend were wandering home after having coffee, and we walked past a charity shop. and stopped. and looked again.
..it was FULL of FROGS!!

just, loads and loads of different frogs! toy stuffed ones, little ornament ones, a frog bathmat, the whole window was full of green!!
we had to check with each other that that was actually there, and we werent tripping.

why would one shop have so many frog-related items? how did it amass them all? who are all these people buying frog items and then deciding they dont want them?

...and why did the shop decide to have an entire frog display?

Wednesday, May 2nd 2007

Wed, 02 May 2007 21:03:37 GMT

Today I add another person to the list of people i have managed to bite and draw blood.
His name is James :-)

i like sunbathe...

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 22:43:23 GMT

today i was on the phone to a customer (i work in a call centre now) and someone showed me a picture of my co-worker in the borat costume; you know the lime green over-the-shoulder thong thing?
i laughed so much i had to put him on hold for a few minutes :-)

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:22:22 GMT

i got given lots of random jumble, including a dress with floral print(!)

Saturday, February 24th, 2007

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:21:26 GMT

you know the classic *how selfless are you* question:

who would you choose to die, 100,000 people youve never met, or yourself?

i came up with a really good answer:
"the planet is hideously overpopulated anyway..."

Friday, February 23rd

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:02:10 GMT

Was trying to sleep this morning, with a terrible hangover, with my landlord and a gasman evaluating the gas fire in my room.
Our cooker got condemned!

Thursday. February 22nd 2007

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 18:57:50 GMT

I learnt how to make stew :-)

REAL housekeeping

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 18:57:27 GMT

i've learnt a thing or two from living in a house full of stoners:

Rules of housekeeping for lazy teenagers

* if a plate looks clean, its clean. just don't ask if someone licked it.
* if a plate doesnt look clean, and you pick off the bits that you can see, its now clean.
* if a saucepan had something boiled in it before, its clean.
* if you cook the same food in a saucepan twice, its fine. the same thing goes with eating the same food out of a bowl twice.
* NEVER sniff clothes to see if theyre clean- trust me, youll regret it.
* 10 second rule- food on the floor is safe to pick up and eat for ten seconds after it has been dropped.
* in the absence of clean glasses, bowls, rinsed out jars or tins are acceptable substitutes.
* tie-dye clothes dont show stains. all stains are immediately part of the pattern.
* dust is something old people worry about.
* the mould creatures probably wont kill you- at least they havent yet.
* you can eat anything with chopsticks, and they dont really need to be washed up.
* junk mail serves as useful filler for the holes in the floor.
* if all your stuff is spread out on the floor, you can find everything easily. the problem comes when more stuff is put on top of it.
* if you lose something for more than a month and dont remember, when youve found it you have no right to be annoyed it was lost.
* margarine can survive forever if it has been left out of the fridge.
* most things you can do without if you forget to buy them. toilet paper is not one of these.
* beer IS a food.
* all food is fair game, unless you specifically show it to everyone in the house and explain what will happen to them if they eat it.
* if you dont follow up your threats, they wont listen.
* jeans never get dirty. its called "vintage", "distressed", or antique".
* hp sauce is a valuable ingredient in every recipe.
* you pass out on our floor, you're going to get menaced in the morning.
* even if it smells, no-one else is going to throw it away.
* your clothes will be stolen. even if you are the only girl in the house.
* if you're prepared to wait for someone else to cook, you better not be hungry.
* in the case of raining inside, just make sure the computer isnt on the floor.
* guitar playing is allowed at all times. at midnight we switch to acoustic.
* if you don't care that you're naked, no-one else should either.
* piles of clothes make good seats- just dont lie your head on it.
* baths can't get dirty.
* whoever gets to the bread first, wins (all the bread)
* ditto for milk
* check every crumpled-up duvet for a body before stepping on it.

*this list may be added to later*